Any time I'm sitting on a memorial bench

or in a memorial garden or playing basketball on some memorial courts, I sigh contentedly and think: "I am so glad this person died!"

-------------------------------------------------------------
Moral: You gotta be careful setting up a memorial. For example, if you are the person who would set mine up if--goddess spirit forbid!--I were to die, please set up the following memorials:

Mathematics Center Memorial for Chelsea Peretti
C&P Block Tax Memorial Center
Fresh Kills Chelsea Peretti Memorial Bench
Chelsea Peretti Memorial Fraud Investigation Team

This way, everyone experiencing the memorial will wish I had never died so they wouldn't have to suffer my wretched memorial.